Hazy phone calls

So I'm back on the road again.

It's been a rough couple of days. I don't know. I'm all fucked up in the head again and I don't know how long I can keep it together. I'm coming apart at the seams after what happened with.....yeah. I don't want to type it out, you all know what happened. With Elaine. With....

Fuck it.

I traveled with Richard for a few days, but he's gone now. I don't really remember much of it, it's sort of hazy, but we talked about a lot of things. About what happened there, about his time in that strange forest, about David. He told me I needed to get my shit together, I think. Like I was a lot worse than I am now, shaking and puking and...just. Let's not talk about it.

I feel watched again. But I haven't seen Him since I left. I dunno what the fuck it is, I just can't get over this dread and despair and I...I'm so fucking sick of this shit.

So I'm going to go see M in Chicago. Finally. We worked most of the details out over the phone and he's going to give me directions when I get there to where Bondie lives. YES he's alive folks so quit your bitching he'll post when he wants to. I remember that conversation, I was more sane then. Or at least as sane as I'll ever be anymore. He told me

"You should have known this shit was going to happen. It doesn't matter if you're 'safe' from Him or not, awful fucking things always happen when you get in large groups."

I guess he's been waiting for me to come to Chicago this whole fucking time. He didn't want to leave Bondie's house until he and i had seen each other cause he was afraid I might end up like Beth. Which is understandable, I mean, Id be worried to after what happened last time with her she ended up getting fucked up by Him or disappearing or the safehouse she builts fell or something i dont quite remember anymore its all kind of hazy

Fuck it.

I'll post again when I'm in Chicago.

Peace out,
Shaun