I knew it. I knew something was wrong. I've been filled with fucking DREAD these last few days. Now I know why.
I'm sitting here in an absolutely gorgeous hotel room,(translation: it smells like ass) wondering where it is my life went wrong and what any of us did to deserve all of this....
I left Hope.
'Why?' you ask. Let me tell you why.
Hope is a fraud. A clever fucking sham that's been deceiving you all since practically day one. I know this because I heard Elaine herself talking about it. She wasn't in our bed when I woke up this morning, so I went looking for her. Usually there are a few places she hangs out fairly often so that people can find her, but....today she wasn't in any of those places. I had to go find her on the roof, where she was apparently talking with David. I got there just in time to overhear a part of their conversation from my spot behind the door, and yes before you ask I was being a sneaky asshole and hiding for a bit. I don't trust David, and neither should any of you. After what he did to Jessie and what he's done here at Hope....yeah.
I managed to overhear this,
"Yeah, I'll hand him over by the end of the week. Fucker has it coming."
from Elaine to David.
I don't know who they were talking about. I don't know what the context was. But the sound of it is fairly awful, don't you think? It doesn't help that when I confronted the two of them, Elaine told me everything about the deal she has going with David to keep Hope 'safe'. Safe my fucking ass.
Elaine gives him information on you guys. All of you. Information about where you're headed, where you are currently, where you might be. It's not much but this is David we're talking about. If he wanted to get you he could and she's only making it easier. If he wanted to get you, it would be this easy.
And if He wanted to get you, it would be EVEN FUCKING EASIER!!
...So, that's why I left Hope. I'm sorry Elaine. I just can't let people walk into this blind, without knowing, and part of me hopes you can call the whole thing off and keep running Hope some other way. There must be another way of keeping the place safe that doesn't involve selling out and I'm sorry David used you to find new folks to prey on like that. It's not your fault. I don't blame you. I don't hate you for it. I just...I can't stay there, knowing what I know about what you're doing. And I can't keep quiet either because it's burning up inside my head and I have to tell you all to get out, every single one of you needs to get out right now before it gets any worse.
Hope is a lie. I should have known that from the very beginning. It always has been.
I'm getting back on the road again, after tonight. I've got all my supplies in a nice new duffle bag and I'm ready to go. This is my life. I've done this enough times to know how things work and what happens next. Time to go back on the run.
Peace out, Hope.