Monday, January 2, 2012


blah blah blah Here we are again, right? Christmas and New Years and Thanksgiving have passed in a blink. Where the fuck does the time go? I find myself more and more slipping into this crevice of reality where nothing is real and everything around me seems distant or not quite right. I'm not me anymore, or at least not who i thought I was. My own sins have caught up with me I guess, reminded me I'm not half the man I thought i was.

that's a comforting thought, huh?

Sarcasm aside, what is comforting is that I'm not really on the road yet, but by the time I actually am I might not have a chance to post this for lack of internet access, so I'm going to put it here now. I'm still hanging out with Lis and Tia and I wont lie that even though its been hell, with everything thats gone down in the past week, but I've still been glad for the company and distractions for the holidays. Its nice.

Right. Righty right right.

I'd love to stay longer but there are some things irking me that I just can't help but think might feel better if I lfet. No offense to either Lis or Tia, I'm sorry for all the trouble you guys have been put through, I just...need to sort my head out, is all. I need to stop living in nightmares and wandering around ,feeling old pains from those who have gone. Speaking of those who have gone, I cannot imagine the pain most of us must feel for those who have been lost recently. We took a hell of a blow. There's no getting around that. We'll miss all those who are gone, but we must press on.

It's the only thing to do.

It's no fault of you or Tia's, Lis, so stop blaming yourself. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't swat me on the head anymore, please and thank you. Much as I love the attention, you know me, I'm not one for the kinky stuff.

Heh. I'm glad I can at least laugh nowadays. That's a start, anyway.

Peace out,

P.S.- those vids from my time in Chicago should be up in a week or so.

EDIT: Also, I'm told theres some sort of post up here on the blog about Scott, but...I can't see it. I've had the thing read aloud to me and I don't have any idea what the fuck its about. I remember Scott opening a journal, but I don't have it with me or anything so I couldn't have posted the thing...