im heading east again, dont worry about from where. the air is hot and sweaty, and if i could describe the feeling of emptiness in the pit of my stomach to you i wouldn't, because its horrifying. suffice it to say i dont feel like im in the best shape and my body should probably have given out by now. but then, so should my mind. and im doing my best to keep that in tact. failing miserably, but oh well. lol
i stopped in a gas station early yesterday, to gather some supplies for my trip. i need a new backpack and i need food and i need a good place to stay but hey i aint getting any of those things any time soon because FUCKINGNOFACE out there wont let me get a momments peace and
anyway, while i was there, i talked to the gas station attendant for a few minutes, trying to sort out my head. he was concerned for my well being cause i look like shit right now, and we chatted about what a person like me was doing trekking the country. yeah, it was the best excuse i could come up with, so sue me. it was nice to finally communicate with a real human being for more than 60 seconds, and as much as this blog thing helps it isnt a direct link to a human face, and thats difficult to cope with. id love more than anything right now to talk to M. hes my friend, my only real link to anyone...haha i sound so fucking pathetic. i cant believe it.
still, the gas station guy was nice. i think he sensed that i was 'homeless' and gave me a couple of snacks for the road, along with some t-shirts he had in the back. he said they belonged to his son, who went missing a year or two back. i hate to be paranoid but i honestly wonder 'is it possible?' could this kid have been a runner like me or M? i dont know, but for now im not going to dwell. i dont want to think about another person going through this hell.
oh, and for anyone who is wondering, my grammar and punctuation suck because i just dont give a FUCK anymore
EDIT: oh also, thanks to this guy calming me down out of my rage, i managed to get some half-decent sleep last night for about five hours before slenderman showed up. i ended up seeing him standing there at the edge of the road (dont ask where i was sleeping, it sucked) when i woke up and i knew i had to get the fuck outta there. just dropped by an internet cafe to download some comforting songs and type up this blog post.