~Scott's Memoirs: December 1st, 2010~

This is foR postErity's sakE

-1-

Fuck this blogging thing. I dunno what the use of it is. am I probing my own mind for other people, or are people probing my own mind for me? either way the concept is fucked and I dont need it right now. Things have been quiet even with Shaun around, though there is lots to talk about. he really likes to talk and make himself known and I'm okay with that of course. Its nice to have someone to discuss things with instead of being on my own. The peaceful quiet that has come over my whole apartment building has been eerie and maddening lately. Instead of just peace ful. The fuck ever. I opened this journal in hopes of having some record of what i and Shaun are up to. this Slenderman bullshit has got to stop, fuck that guy. I dont succumb so easy to things like this and I wont run away. All the same, it helps to have an expert around.

I guess thats it for this one.
-Scott

Moving On

So I'm working on getting videos of my time with M up onto the internet. He'll be pissed at me, but I think it's important to get these videos out there, as they're going to be my last. Yeah. My good camera broke and the other one is being a piece of shit, and besides. M brought up a couple good points. We were sitting around talking on the roof, it was a pretty rainy-ass day, but I was sitting with him because he doesn't like going inside. The kid just will not go inside for anything besides occasionally to go to the bathroom. So we were talking about my filming stuff and he goes

"I don't see why you trust the camera to catch the assholes who are after you. If you can't trust electronics don't you think they could fucking mess with your videos before they go up?"

and he's right. i cant risk that they're tampering with shit without my knowing because i would never know if they messed with my cameras or changed thevideos i just dont want to think about that.

So I moved on after a while. M and I had a good time, even if he lectured me the whole time about The Rules. As if the Rules still apply anymore. For fuck's sake, he's been at Bondie's for how many months now and he's still not dead. So what the fuck ever. We spent a lot of time chatting and yelling at each other on the roof, through rain and snow and wind and shit, and I saw some really amazing things that gave me a lot of hope for the future. It was nice to talk with a friend. Not only that, but Bondie makes some good goddamn cookies.

But we eventually had to say our goodbyes. I don't exactly feel...comfortable...staying in one place for very long. M may be complacent, but I'm not. He hasn't been posting because he's gotten way too comfortable and doesn't think it's safe to post. I don't fucking know, the guy is a weirdo.

M did tell me some cool shit before I left though. But I'll never tell.

Right now I'm spending time with Lis and Tia, who spent time hanging out with me in the safehouse while we were all there, before it fell. It's a fun time and it's better than spending Christmas on the streets. Here's hoping all goes well, and, merry Christmas to all of you. Whatever the fuck happens, don't get lonely. You've got friends in most places.

Peace out,
Shaun

Chicago

In Chicago now. staying at Bondie's house. I'll have some more stuff up, and maybe a video or two, in the next few weeks.

Hazy phone calls

So I'm back on the road again.

It's been a rough couple of days. I don't know. I'm all fucked up in the head again and I don't know how long I can keep it together. I'm coming apart at the seams after what happened with.....yeah. I don't want to type it out, you all know what happened. With Elaine. With....

Fuck it.

I traveled with Richard for a few days, but he's gone now. I don't really remember much of it, it's sort of hazy, but we talked about a lot of things. About what happened there, about his time in that strange forest, about David. He told me I needed to get my shit together, I think. Like I was a lot worse than I am now, shaking and puking and...just. Let's not talk about it.

I feel watched again. But I haven't seen Him since I left. I dunno what the fuck it is, I just can't get over this dread and despair and I...I'm so fucking sick of this shit.

So I'm going to go see M in Chicago. Finally. We worked most of the details out over the phone and he's going to give me directions when I get there to where Bondie lives. YES he's alive folks so quit your bitching he'll post when he wants to. I remember that conversation, I was more sane then. Or at least as sane as I'll ever be anymore. He told me

"You should have known this shit was going to happen. It doesn't matter if you're 'safe' from Him or not, awful fucking things always happen when you get in large groups."

I guess he's been waiting for me to come to Chicago this whole fucking time. He didn't want to leave Bondie's house until he and i had seen each other cause he was afraid I might end up like Beth. Which is understandable, I mean, Id be worried to after what happened last time with her she ended up getting fucked up by Him or disappearing or the safehouse she builts fell or something i dont quite remember anymore its all kind of hazy

Fuck it.

I'll post again when I'm in Chicago.

Peace out,
Shaun

fuck

i didnt know

it was

oh god

i had NO FUCKING IDEA

im so sorry

elaine

jennifer, levi, adam...emily. forgive me. fuck, please, just...



richard's making me get moving. travelling together.

ill post again, whenever.

godfuckingdammit

Everything is Awful

I knew it. I knew something was wrong. I've been filled with fucking DREAD these last few days. Now I know why.



I'm sitting here in an absolutely gorgeous hotel room,(translation: it smells like ass) wondering where it is my life went wrong and what any of us did to deserve all of this....

I left Hope.

'Why?' you ask. Let me tell you why.

Hope is a fraud. A clever fucking sham that's been deceiving you all since practically day one. I know this because I heard Elaine herself talking about it. She wasn't in our bed when I woke up this morning, so I went looking for her. Usually there are a few places she hangs out fairly often so that people can find her, but....today she wasn't in any of those places. I had to go find her on the roof, where she was apparently talking with David. I got there just in time to overhear a part of their conversation from my spot behind the door, and yes before you ask I was being a sneaky asshole and hiding for a bit. I don't trust David, and neither should any of you. After what he did to Jessie and what he's done here at Hope....yeah.

I managed to overhear this,

"Yeah, I'll hand him over by the end of the week. Fucker has it coming."

from Elaine to David.

I don't know who they were talking about. I don't know what the context was. But the sound of it is fairly awful, don't you think? It doesn't help that when I confronted the two of them, Elaine told me everything about the deal she has going with David to keep Hope 'safe'. Safe my fucking ass.

Elaine gives him information on you guys. All of you. Information about where you're headed, where you are currently, where you might be. It's not much but this is David we're talking about. If he wanted to get you he could and she's only making it easier. If he wanted to get you, it would be this easy.

And if He wanted to get you, it would be EVEN FUCKING EASIER!!


...

...So, that's why I left Hope. I'm sorry Elaine. I just can't let people walk into this blind, without knowing, and part of me hopes you can call the whole thing off and keep running Hope some other way. There must be another way of keeping the place safe that doesn't involve selling out and I'm sorry David used you to find new folks to prey on like that. It's not your fault. I don't blame you. I don't hate you for it. I just...I can't stay there, knowing what I know about what you're doing. And I can't keep quiet either because it's burning up inside my head and I have to tell you all to get out, every single one of you needs to get out right now before it gets any worse.

Hope is a lie. I should have known that from the very beginning. It always has been.

I'm getting back on the road again, after tonight. I've got all my supplies in a nice new duffle bag and I'm ready to go. This is my life. I've done this enough times to know how things work and what happens next. Time to go back on the run.



Goodbye Elaine.

Peace out, Hope.

-Shaun

Sunday Music

I sure am glad I don't have a fucken' landlord, heh

23 Seconds Kids

So these kids went into a forest.

And going into that forest turned out to be a bad idea. Why? 'Cause shit went down and apparently Slenderman and one of his more powerful cronies, Writer, ended up trapping them there to slowly torture and kill off one by one.

I know, such a pleasant story.

I'd like to say that their story had a happy ending but I dunno. We saved three out of about 48 kids who originally went into that forest, but you know what? I think that's fairly impressive, honestly. Three lives which otherwise would have faded away into nothingness in a forest full of death and despair. That's a goddamn miracle.

I should back up a moment.

After Konaa put up a post rally cry about saving these kids, Elaine asked me if I wanted to help them out. Of course I said yes, and we made the trip to Canada to meet up with Konaa and charge in their blind.

It was stupid and we could have, should have, died. Elaine...describes it better here but...well, it was an odd experience, entering what I've heard refered often to as a 'Loop.' Weird, disturbing shit, let me tell you that. It messed with my head a lot. i dont like anything that messes with my head. i need my head

but anyway. The whole place reeked of death and my brain was buzzing strangely the entire time. These things...they're beyond what we understand, let me leave it at that.

I remember picking up this set of dog tags,

"Zachariah Hanna Lewis"

and then fucking Richard came out of nowhere with a switchblade to my neck. I would have whooped his ass for it, but I understand. He's been through hell, and I'm so glad we could get he, Elliot, and Alex out. There was a whole lot of dying, and a whole lot of running, and some shit went down between Writer and another guy I'm unfamiliar with, and I ignored most of it because what mattered was getting these kids out and safe and alive.

I'll never forget any of the shit I saw there, let me tell you that much.

Christ. They're about the same age as me and I keep calling them kids. Whatever. I'm going to go lie down as soon as we're home because frankly, the things I've seen and experienced are starting to get to me. It takes being truly happy to be truly sad.

peace out,
Shaun

Hey, it's that time again!

Sunday!

Music time!

I'm totally in a good mood this morning, can ya tell?

Happy Halloween

I'm so used to spending my holidays alone on the streets.

But here in Hope I don't have to be alone and I don't have to be cold as fuck wondering if I should steal a little kid's bag of candy for my own sake to keep well fed. And for the record, I decided against it. It's just...being a Runner is some tough shit. I don't miss it, right now.

Spending time in Hope has taught me a lot, given me a lot. The other day I watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" with Lis because I haven't seen it in forever and we both used to watch it with our mom's. I dunno, we found a torrent, it was cool. Don't judge. My point is it's been so long since I've felt like I had a place to call home, and well...now I do.

I have hope. As cheese-y as it sounds, that's the one thing I've gained above all else here in Hope.

I might just stay a bit longer than originally intended.

Peace out,
Shaun

But...

I would rather talk about the good shit that happens around Hope than the bad shit. And last night was rather awesome. I went out and bought a guitar with some money Elaine lent me, because I figured that type of thing would be good for lightening the mood, after what happened with Mike a few days ago. I hadn't expected it to work as wonderfully as it did though, I guess. Because soon enough we were all singing along to The Beatles songs and eating a whole bunch of great food, and everyone seemed happy like some sort of merry band of travellers or something. It was really nice and I hope we have more nights like it here at Hope. It's good, for all of us I think, to feel like we have a home...

Peace out for now,
Shaun

so yeah. there was some shit that went down. its nothing serious and everyone is fine but my leg is sort of banged the fuck up. other people tell it better than me, i think.

Elaine

Michael

security

its really weird. i keep jumping at strange noises only to find out its another person about as scared of me as i am of them. i keep expecting to see an agent or some government official walking through a door at any moment. i know its ridiculous but im so goddamn paranoid.

but elaine ensures me this place is protected from that sort of thing. so i trust her.

its been an odd experience living in Hope but i hope you can tell that while im here i plan on at least keeping you guys updated a little more on my situation than i did before. i know random videos and short blog posts and song lyrics dont make for much of a story, but hey. this isnt a story, no matter what you may think otherwise. but i mean...ive been doing some poking around. looking into shit. trying to work this out on my own.

i guess it is a story, afterall. my story. and things are looking up. im here and i feel safe and even though im still paranoid its slowly wearing off. im still not used to all these people though. elaine tells me itll be alright but i just cant get a handle on talking and doing normal things again. i play video games the other night with the guys here. video games.

i mean for fucks sake man, what is that? i guess its fun, its life, and i can only hope it lasts a long while.

thats all ive got for now. im going to go see what elaine is up to now, probably missing me or whatever since ive been holed up in my room all morning.

peace out,
shaun

Arrival

So im making this post to let everyone know im safe, im alive, and i have arrived at Hope. its...well, i dunno. its more than what i expected it to be, i guess? im shocked that it works, honestly. it remains to be seen how long term this thing is, but we'll see how well it works. in the mean time, im going to vacation here, because hey, why the fuck not? what better way of testing the longevity of Hope than by taking an extended break here? besides, i get the impression elaine could use someone to help her run this place, so thats what im going to do...

ive got a video ill post up once im all settled in(yes elaine, im posting the video i did manage to take whether you like it or not because im a bastard like that), i just figured id update and let you guys know whats going on. hopefully...this whole thing doesnt fall apart. im looking forward to it, i fee lsafe and secure and actually goddamn happy for once.

and now i hear tell of cake, and so i shall be off.

peace out!

In Texas

Heeeeeeeey Elaine. kinda in your state now. shoot me an email or a text or call me with directions and an address, I'll be needin that shit to get to Hope. Looking forward to seein ya.

Should be there in about a day, folks. thought id keep you guys updated, even if this is a short one. not much has been going on as of late, and its strangely quiet...like the calm before the storm or some shit? nah i dont want to think about it like that, Hope is going to be a niiiiiiice vacation. more on that as it updates, heh

Hope

While im sitting here fucking emailing people and shit i mean i might as well update this damn thing right? Im better at keeping up with it than M, i swear to god!

So Im currently headed for texas, austin to be precise, and though i usually dont like giving out my location its pretty much obvious where im headed. Elaine's place seems like a safe bet right now and ive been meaning to meet up with her for a long time anyway. So i guess thats where Im going. I...Im actually pretty excited. if she can prove this thing works then by god, ill have a little Hope for once too. I think we could all use a littla that, no? i guess ill seeya all around, sorry for the infrequent updates. nothing really new to report on my end. Other than some bad dreams and shit, things have been normal...or as normal as they ever are...

Still Peoplin

*ahem*

If you've been kicked in or abused
or mistreated or misused
you are told there is nowhere to go but up for you.
If you've been hurt or you've been betrayed
or you've been fucked or you've been displaced!
You are told it's probably your fault, anyway.

But when your Hustler subscritions
and your Xanax prescriptions
make you feel lonelier instead!
You don't wanna be told about all those starving children.
You don't wanna be told it's all in your head!
'Cause if it's all in your heeeeead...
that's terrible.

I saw a junkie lying in a puiddle of his own blood last week.
I saw a cyclist get hit by a car.
I saw a homeless guy chug a bottle of mouthwash on Christmas Eve!
No you can never fall too far.
You can buy a salad glove.
You can buy an iPod, and you can
sell that shit to Bookman's when your wife dies and you lose your job!
You can hope it gets better.
You can follow your dreams.
But Hope is for presidents, and dreams are for people who are sleepiiiing.

My friend AARON says it best "we're all two or three bad decisions away
from becoming the ones that we fear and pity."
And Tony says "It's important to bare some witness when you can."
and that's not hard to do in the city that I live in!
You don't have it any better.
You don't have it any worse.
You're an irreplacable
human soul
with your own understanding of what it means to suffer!
And that's a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge...

BUMMER!!



aaaaaaaand im done.

quiet

lot of things seem to be going on lately. elaine is having a shitty time of it, and M has been mostly silent for a month since James sent him that cryptic math shit. then youve got plenty going on with everyone else..i dunno what to think. i havent seen any more activity from the people tailing me in weeks. im getting worried that this is teh calm before the storm i guess...

stopped to get some food from a fast food place the other day and realized...i was finally aware of the shit around me again. i hadnt realized how out of it i was until that moment but...it seems like i only just woke up from a fuckin nightmare. i dont know how to feel about that. sad, i guess? its my own fault mostly for being so caught up in all this bullshit but i mean what are ya gonna do? therese fuckers following me, monitoring me and i cant be sure im safe anywhere or with anyone. i need to consider cutting off communication i suppose but at the same time i dont want to risk not being able to show you all whats going on.

shit, i sound like a moron. one of those shitty mockumentary style movies where the character wont stop fucking filming for some inane reason or another. still, i havent had much to share lately, but when i do, ill post more...i guess for now things are quiet.

last night

i saw this guy following me last night and managed to catch him on film. this is the obnly time they've slipped up so bad and im suspicious, but here it is

Diary of a Runner

i've been filming myself almost all of the time this past week or so to try and get everything i can on film for you guys. i realized it would be good for my mind to put together a little video of some of the things ive seen on my travels to remind myself that its not all bad and calm myself down as well. so without further adieu, here is my Diary of a Runner video

hehe..."operator"

Change of appearance

just letting everyone know that i am doing considerably better than i was when i filmed that last video...things have quieted and im still being followed by the cops and still feeling followed more than ever, but ive done some things and talked to a few people and its really helped calm me down. one of those things was actually shaving my beard so that no one can recognize me. that and i bought a hat cause its too hot for a hoodie in the summer but i need something to help hide my face. hopefully it helps. i just wish i could sleep better and shake this feeling that im being watched all the time.

but then again, i am, arent i?

Help Me

Recorded a night ago

wanted

edited some things out for my own safety kinda ironic all things considered but im sure this gets the message across i dont know why im wanted why they want me why theyre doing this who is doing this its all so fucked up and i havent eaten or drank water and barely slept for like four days. all fucked up dont know what to do, might post a video might not. well see.

A really, REALLY shitty day

i normally dont post everything that i film throughout the day, but all of this is relevant enough to be here. apparently, I AM WANTED FOR MURDER. WHEN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?

the files were gone when i got back to my room.

back to normal i guess

this motherfucker got it.

explanations

i filmed over an hour's worth of my ranting at the camera while i couldnt sleep, but this was stuff i thought was the most important out of all of it. ill post those scans in a few days guys, any help i can get would be appreciated.

ive had a little trouble with the video, but there'll be one later tonight to update you guys on my current situation. it hasnt changed much. but it's somethin.

I got the hell outta dodge

being on the run sucks, have i ever mentioned how very very much it sucks? yeah it sucks. but after that post tuesday i decided my best bet was to just run as far away from the place i first woke up in as possible because who knows who or what could be skulking around the area considering what i woke up to. so thats where ive been and thats what ill be doing for a while, is running. its all i can do, all im good at anymore. ill try to have a new post and maybe some scans up in the next week or so about those files....peace out.

project bluechild?

so, i feel like i should try and explain myself a little more now that im significantly calmed down from the weekend...that video is what i recorded when i woke up in some random abandoned building last friday without a clue as to where id been the past month...i dont remember anything between june 28th and pretty much now, but if the video that played on my laptop in that room is any indication, i was busy.

im working on getting those files shown in the video scanned. there's a lot about a subject in captivity and im not sure if they mean me or if they mean someone else. M remembers his time with the suits, so why dont i? there's definitely a lot of reference to M in there, too. maybe this is all someone playing with my head to psych me out, i dunno. some of the files are drawings presumably done by someone deep in trouble with slenderman but...i think it might have been me. i really need to find out what happened to me in that missing month or so.

also, as you can see, slenderman is in that video and much more...violent with me than he's ever really been. i dont know how to feel about that but its pretty fucked and it scares me a little bit ad it was hell getting out of there. i grabbed my laptop and those files and got the hell out as fast as possible.

yeah. when i have more time ill put those files up. right now im gonna keep moving. i feel like im being watched......

this is not a song

i recorded this on friday. i woke up in this abandoned building and i dont know how i got there or where ive been for the past month...the last thing i remember is having these horrible headaches and then....nothing. blackness until this weekend. its such a surreal thing to wake up and not know how you got somewhere. all my belongings were in that first room

thats my face on the laptop, by the way, but i dont remember recording a video like that either...i dont understand any of this. when i woke up i got hounded by slenderman but i havent seen him since and i found those files you can see in the video and ill post them up but none of this makes any sense not one bit at all

im so confused right now

EDIT: i mean i guess the video fucking speaks for itself or something maybe not i dont even know

This is totally going to be M and I

you can come too, elaine.

Bomb The Music Industry! - "Everybody That You Love" from Bryan Schlam on Vimeo.

yeah, the last few days have been pretty rough, and dont seem like they're going to get any better. i had a couple of encounters with slenderman along the way, so...if that's any indication i think i should be getting outta here as soon as possible. money's hard to come by, i may have to resort to some shitty alternatives. we'll see. peace out everyone.

also, im not unaware of the fact that these posts all seem to fall on sundays. the first two were unintentional. this one is not. lets make it a trend, shall we?

busy, busy, busy

i know its been a few days. ive been caught up in things, trying to skip town and lay low all at once. did you know thats very hard to ddo when you're low on cash and have tofind an alternative source out of town. trade secret, ill keep it to myself. i feel like ive seen a ghost.



this fellow sure looks familiar. yeah, thats why ive been laying low. the cops are looking for me here, apparently. despite my best efforts, my family is still putting up posters just like these practically everywhere. im shocked that they got out of my state, though. i couldnt resist taking a poster with my own face on it. something about that, y'know?

but yeah, have you any fuckin idea what its like to be hunted by the cops, the government, and the slenderman all at once? you'd be paranoid too, for sure. im gonna try and scrounge up some money. if you dont hear from me for a while, i got outta town and havent had a break in weeks. wish me luck.

i wish M would answer my fucking emails

8 Full Hours of Sleep

and thank fucking god for that! i mean it, i don't think anything could be as good as falling asleep and not immediately waking up in a cold sweat or finding slenderfreak at the edge of my bed. no, last night i fell asleep and did not wake up, in a good way. i feel much better than i have in months, although that aint saying much. still, for me it was a step in the right direction. im trying to make this last as long as possible. and i hope i can repeat it a few more times when i settle down for sleep.

that said, i took a big risk doing what i did last night. sleeping that long is kind of dangerous with him around...not to mention i plugged my mp3 player into my laptop, set a couple of laura stevenson's albums on repeat and let myself drift off, so i couldnt have heard anything going on around me anyway...but dammit, i dont care! that bastard has taken so much from me already, the least i could let myself have is some goddamned sleep. when i think of everything that slenderman has caused and all the pain he's inflicted upon me as well as others.............

well, it pisses me off, to say the least. and im not going to stand for it. im not going to be a ghost anymore while this thing torments whats left of my sanity. i want my life back. and im gonna take it.

"There's a ghost way out on the northeast coast! And it'll break your heart, harder than I ever could..."

uh, god. you know how to put me right to sleep laura...i love it so much.

so yeah.

im heading east again, dont worry about from where. the air is hot and sweaty, and if i could describe the feeling of emptiness in the pit of my stomach to you i wouldn't, because its horrifying. suffice it to say i dont feel like im in the best shape and my body should probably have given out by now. but then, so should my mind. and im doing my best to keep that in tact. failing miserably, but oh well. lol

i stopped in a gas station early yesterday, to gather some supplies for my trip. i need a new backpack and i need food and i need a good place to stay but hey i aint getting any of those things any time soon because FUCKINGNOFACE out there wont let me get a momments peace and

.............

im sorry.

anyway, while i was there, i talked to the gas station attendant for a few minutes, trying to sort out my head. he was concerned for my well being cause i look like shit right now, and we chatted about what a person like me was doing trekking the country. yeah, it was the best excuse i could come up with, so sue me. it was nice to finally communicate with a real human being for more than 60 seconds, and as much as this blog thing helps it isnt a direct link to a human face, and thats difficult to cope with. id love more than anything right now to talk to M. hes my friend, my only real link to anyone...haha i sound so fucking pathetic. i cant believe it.

still, the gas station guy was nice. i think he sensed that i was 'homeless' and gave me a couple of snacks for the road, along with some t-shirts he had in the back. he said they belonged to his son, who went missing a year or two back. i hate to be paranoid but i honestly wonder 'is it possible?' could this kid have been a runner like me or M? i dont know, but for now im not going to dwell. i dont want to think about another person going through this hell.

oh, and for anyone who is wondering, my grammar and punctuation suck because i just dont give a FUCK anymore

EDIT: oh also, thanks to this guy calming me down out of my rage, i managed to get some half-decent sleep last night for about five hours before slenderman showed up. i ended up seeing him standing there at the edge of the road (dont ask where i was sleeping, it sucked) when i woke up and i knew i had to get the fuck outta there. just dropped by an internet cafe to download some comforting songs and type up this blog post.

seriously.

im always amazed at the number of people, especially those already aware of what slenderman is who seemingly forget what theyre up against as soon as he actually FUCKING SHOWS UP. suddenly its "that 'thing' is after us" and "that 'thing' was out there earlier." somehow it doesnt register that what theyre up against is the SAME THING theyve been talking aboutwith their friends and filming a video series on or whatever the fuck else theyve been doing u[p to that goddamn point its liek no one stops to think that maybe just MAYBE this thing is real and its out there terrifying frightening just standing there staring why wont it FUCKING go away already, it doesnt make any sense why people suddenly become so ignorant when he shows up is it something to do with his presence is it poor story telling are these people just faking it i dont understand why none of us seem able to fight it fight back do something other than panic, panic bomb hey hey get away from me!

i've got to calm down. im trying really hard. but its hard.

it wont go away...i dont think ive seen it blink at all. it knows my name. its waitin' for me to fall on my face, as i attempt to have my TINY LITTLE LIFE.

it waits in the wings and i dont know why.

im not sure why.

Teenage Cool Kids - Landlocked State from If You Make It on Vimeo.

EDIT: this just cheers me up is all.

Syke! Life is Awesome!

Trying my hardest to fight insanity...it's not easy anymore.

I've gone five days without sleep. I'm not in my right mind and I'm hallucinating a lot. Last night he visited the hotel room I was in...Slenderman. One moment I was lying in bed, trying desperately to sleep, and the next he was there. His tentacles...god, i wish hed stop doing that...I mean...no...his tentacles were spread out all over the walls and the floor and the ceiling...they throbbed. They writhed in and out of existence, their edges blurry as though my vision was faulty, but the entity himself stood in the middle of it all, too tall, too straight, too thin and he was crystal clear...it's how I knew I wasn't hallucinating.

or maybe I was.

I don't know anymore. Last night's post was made during my encounter with Slenderman, when  Ithought he was going to kill me. He seems to like...playing with me, though, because he hasn't killed me yet. Maybe I should try getting back into testing, to make myself feel better... I don't try so hard to run as much to keep my head in the game, because if I don't and he gets me and he takes me back there then what will I have left? nothing my head is all I've got and without it I'm crazy crazy crazy but I'm not crazy, I swear and...

Okay. I need sleep. Now.

Also, a word on  and to the government fucks or whatever tailing me for the past few cities; if you really thought you were slick, guess again. Didn't like that little surprise I left for ya in the street, did you dude?!

...



~SR

a message to the personal space invader

welcome to this world have as much fun as you like
while helping others have
as much fun as you're having
and be kind to those you love
and be kind to those you don't
but for god's sake, you've gotta be kind!

take care of M, Bondie.

~SR

EDIT: i am so fucking scared right now good god

See that? That picture in the background?

That's Chicago. It's where I was headed before I lost contact with M.

Aside from that, you don't need to know where I've been since I last posted. Suffice it to say that I have simply been. And that's what's really important after all, right?

This is just rambling to anyone not in the know. For now, just call me SR. That should be a big enough hint to those already familiar with me. To those who aren't, and have no idea what I'm talking about...go away. Forget you read this. never come back to this blog. There are things out there in the world you aren't meant to know about, and despite the irony of my posting that on a public internet blog, this is one of those things.

Because magic is real.

And it can hurt you, like it has me.

So leave now, or you will die. Like me.

~SR